Sex Euphemisms
November 20th 2006 10:06
The wonders of the internet continue to inform and enlighten mankind. Behold, the Weirdest Goddamned Sex Euphemisms I Could Find On Short Notice.
- Bohemian cluster fuck
- jiggery-pokery
- hibity-dibity
- throwing bricks (?)
- arts and crafts (??)
- taking the big onion (???)
- bonestorm
- bow-chika-bow-wow
- franking the fungus well
- getting your ashes hauled
- hole smashing (I love it for the sheer in-your-face brutality)
- bury the baby leg
- snakes in a cave (sounds like the working title of the inevitable sequel to Snakes On A Plane)
- Staff of Rar (probably invented by Dungeons & Dragons players)
- saw off a chunk
- batter dip the cranny ax in the gut locker
- windsurfing on Mount Baldy
- lose the match and pocket the stake
- cannonball the fiddle cove with the pork steeple
- cattle prod the oyster ditch with the lap rocket
- zwooshing the swoosh
- Pounding the snow possum
- marinate the nether rod in the squish mitten
- power drill the yippee bog with the dude piston
- pressure wash the quiver bone in the bitch wrinkle (LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL)
- retrofit the pudding hatch with the boink swatter
- vulcanize the woopee stick in the ham wallet
- "I thought you said you were a vegetarian." (????)
- normalizing the poontang (...normalizing??)
- swishing the binglefink
- hiring a bonobo
- tangential differentiation (n doubt coined by physics nerds)
Start using these in everyday conversation. Next time you're boasting about your weekend by the water cooler on Monday morning, tell your admiring co-workers that you "totally pressure-washed your quiver bone in her bitch wrinkle." Instant status.
I'd like to hear some more bizarre contributions from you Orble-treading weirdoes. Anyone who suggests anything like "playing hide the sausage" will be set on fire.
- Bohemian cluster fuck
- jiggery-pokery
- hibity-dibity
- throwing bricks (?)
- arts and crafts (??)
- taking the big onion (???)
- bonestorm
- bow-chika-bow-wow
- franking the fungus well
- getting your ashes hauled
- hole smashing (I love it for the sheer in-your-face brutality)
- bury the baby leg
- snakes in a cave (sounds like the working title of the inevitable sequel to Snakes On A Plane)
- Staff of Rar (probably invented by Dungeons & Dragons players)
- saw off a chunk
- batter dip the cranny ax in the gut locker
- windsurfing on Mount Baldy
- lose the match and pocket the stake
- cannonball the fiddle cove with the pork steeple
- cattle prod the oyster ditch with the lap rocket
- zwooshing the swoosh
- Pounding the snow possum
- marinate the nether rod in the squish mitten
- power drill the yippee bog with the dude piston
- pressure wash the quiver bone in the bitch wrinkle (LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL)
- retrofit the pudding hatch with the boink swatter
- vulcanize the woopee stick in the ham wallet
- "I thought you said you were a vegetarian." (????)
- normalizing the poontang (...normalizing??)
- swishing the binglefink
- hiring a bonobo
- tangential differentiation (n doubt coined by physics nerds)
Start using these in everyday conversation. Next time you're boasting about your weekend by the water cooler on Monday morning, tell your admiring co-workers that you "totally pressure-washed your quiver bone in her bitch wrinkle." Instant status.
I'd like to hear some more bizarre contributions from you Orble-treading weirdoes. Anyone who suggests anything like "playing hide the sausage" will be set on fire.
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*Is 'geniuses' the correct plural form of 'genius'? Sounds wrong, somehow.
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